Meet SHARIE during a Crisis

Both natural disasters and human-made disasters have taught us some valuable lessons in past decades. Think about the Cerro Grande fire (2000), the Indian Ocean tsunami (2004), Hurricane Katrina (2005), the Chilean mine collapse (2010), the Gulf of Mexico/BP oil spill (2010), the Japan tsunami (2011)--and even earlier in history--the Chernobyl nuclear catastrophe (1986), the Tylenol murder mysteries (1982). If your business or organization faces a crisis, follow the simple lessons and steps that have emerged from the successes (like Tylenol and the mine collapse) and the failures (like Chernobyl and Katrina) of those referenced events. Although simply described, each step defies being easy to accomplish. Meet "SHARIE: A Model for Controlling Crisis" (TM):

S - State the emergency situation and all the known facts.
H - Hasten the communication and access processes.
A - Ask for help, inside and outside the organization.
R - Resource all possibilities for remedy.
I - Innovate to arrive at the best resolutions.
E - Evaluate the efforts and the results.

Discuss this model with your team: How would you implement it in a crisis? How could you use social media and press releases? Who are the experts in your industry and how can you contact them? What universities specialize in research in your industry? What partners or alliances do you have in place that could help in an emergency?

Words Tell Our Emotional State

Recently, I watched an elderly man, Joe, make a courageous decision to have open-heart surgery to "buy" five more years of life. He flew through the surgery with no complications and sped through recovery better than most men 20 years younger the doctor said. Now it was time for the long rehabilitation, including core body exercises. At the beginning, Joe said the physical therapists were "abusive and agressive." Months later he called them his "angels." How often our words will communicate our emotional well-being and adjustment. Do you work hard at checking your words in your mind before you write or speak them? Do you read and listen behind the words for the emotional context and content? We would all become better communicators if we would test the emotional filters of the words of the moment.

Language Evolution

I have noticed that even well-educated individuals omit the -ly from adverbs. Contemporary evidence in commercials include the following examples: Honda says, "What if it turned sharper?" Apple says, "Think Different." Safe Auto says, "Drive Safe." The teacher in me screams silently, but the business consultant in me watches with fascination as the American English language changes. "Who" is used for "whom." "Alright" is used for "all right." "Womens" is used for "Women's Room." We are losing the -ly form, whom, all right, and the possessive apostrophe. These, of course, are not official changes yet, but they are in the works. A few decades from now, things will be different. If Shakespeare were alive today, would scratch his head in confusion? Language is a communication tool; therefore, it must change to reflect the changes in society and technology so that we can continue to talk to and learn from one another.

How Many Ways Can You Say Garbage?

Garbage--trash--rubbish--debris--refuse--waste. Your eighth-grade English teacher would be proud of your to exercise your vocabulary with multiple synonyms in a narrative assignment about your chores or an expository assignment concerning the importance recycling. Yet, according to the waste management sources, each of those words has a different meaning. And sometimes "Definitions for the same waste may vary within government statutes, regulations, and legislation," according to the Zero Waste America's website today. Garbage means discarded animal and plant matter; garnish on a dish or in a drink; or worthless, inferior, perhaps false, communication. Trash means worthless or discarded material such as paper products, and can refer to people. Be careful when you ask your spouse or child to take out the garbage or trash. You might find the TV or the phone or a person missing! Defining your terms and being specific take on new priority! Others have learned this lesson and have infused their languages with precise choices. For instance, Eskimoan languages have approximately 180 words or word variations for snow and ice, and more than 1000 words for reindeer! Before giving your next speech at a conference, report to the Board of Directors, or lecture at the dinner table, consider what words you must define for clarity. Be precise and specific. Then be consistent by using the same word for the same meaning throughout the commmunication. Switching to a synonym may make your English teacher happy, but doing so in business or at home can confuse those around you into thinking you mean something different when you choose another word.

Foul Language

One of the "Mad Max" movies with young Mel Gibson came on TV earlier today. As a kid, my son Lans loved that series. We would rent the VHS and he would watch it six times over the weekend. I made him promise not to use the language--or there would be no more viewings. He loved watching the creative vehicles booming and screeching across the 13-inch screen of our only TV. (Lest you judge me too hasrshly, he won the Innovation Award in high school, and he has designed several construction tools.) He insisted the violence was make-believe and that I should not worry. Then the first "Beverly Hills Cop" with a young Eddie Murphy arrived, and a similar scenario occurred with the language and violence elements. For Christmas, I gave that same man-child the first and second seasons of "Deadwood." Not being HBO subscribers, none of us had seen the series. My son and I, like my father, study history. My son especially enjoys the 1800s in the story of the U.S. So, this series seemed like a good fit. Within minutes, he and I remarked about the foul language being depicted in the first episode. I indicated that I was not impressed with the writing reflected in the dialogue. Together we guessed the originators wanted to get the point across that few people were well educated and most people did not live long in that era. Sometimes the comments the characters made to one another severed their lives--sharp tongues and sharp knives do not mix well in conversations. Curious about the script, we watched the commentary. Ah-ha! The director said the script used at the beginning of the series was a sequence of events to be shown in the plot-line. The actors had to ad-lib the dialogue as each scene was filmed! I remember my dad, a college-educated military officer, saying, "Bad language is the sign of a lazy mind." In my childhood household, the worst word ever uttered was "damn," and "darn" was the preferred expletive for frustration or anger. When dad sat down to watch "Field of Dreams" with me, he arose within a couple of minutes and stormed out of the living room because he heard one cuss word--maybe the only one in the entire movie! He was not going to waste his time on such a movie that used body functions in the dialogue. I have told college composition classes that such language demonstrates an undereducated person who will not receive income-producing opportunities and promotions on the job. I asked my brother Scott, a master mechanic and parts manager, how he felt about four-letter words peppered in the truckers' vocabulary. He said, "I am not offended, but I do not use those words. I would not want a potential customer to hear me saying them." No matter how you characterize foul language, it remains unprofessional, inaccurate, and noncreative.

Chosen Words

The American English language continues to evolve to keep pace with our society's needs and technologies. We all use words as tools for connecting with other individuals and groups. As a young mom I asked my son to sweep the sidewalk. He was confused, so I suggested he take the broom and "broom" the sidewalk--which he did. Over the years, that expression remained part of the family lexicon. "Broom" joined waugan (water), ped-e-stare-i-an (pedestrian), pen-in-the-as (pain in the a--), and chevby (heavy). Afterall, many groups of people working under the same roof or in the same industry have a special language that they all understand and use: jargon. When my son was in high school, he and several friends entered the kitchen. "Mom, tell them that you can broom a sidewalk. They say 'broom' is not the correct word." My reply was "Oh, Honey, I am so sorry!" His friends laughed. Years later, my son became a superb concrete finisher and stone mason. Quite a craftsman. He can polish-finish an industrial concrete floor in a multilevel building structure, and he can broom a driveway or sidewalk or patio. You see, one kind of finish is a broom finish that is created with a broad-head broom. By the way, "concrete" (not "cement")is the product resulting from mixing cement (a bonding agent), sand, aggregate, and water. Another clarification: construction workers "pour" concrete while engineers and architects "place" concrete. The selected words demonstrate the preferred perspective: "pour" denotes more water in the mixture which makes it easier to move into place and "place" denotes less water to make the mixture strong and durable. Also, attorneys who advise those construction and engineering professionals warn them against using "expertise," preferring "experience." Apparently, in litigation, "expertise" can cost them a higher settlement with a dissatisfied client. The nuances of language serve specific and peculiar purposes. Choose your words carefully!

"Let's Talk"

"We need to talk. I will talk at you and you will listen. I am right, you are wrong or misinformed, and I will set you straight." Usually, "let's talk" means someone has not been heard and/or affirmed. When someone says "let's talk" to you, I suggest you listen without interruption while that person vents. Then ask a clarifying question or two and paraphrase your overall understanding of the issue(s). Simply receive the information and opinion without try to dismiss or refute it. Once the other party has verified your understanding as correct, state that you will get back to that party at a later time after you have thought about the comments, observations, and criticisms. On your own, consider what was said, accept what is valid for you (any reasonable perspective that can inform your own perspective), reject what is invalid (such as "always" and "never"). In a timely manner, perhaps the next day, approach the other party and say, "Let's talk."

"Can You Help Me?"

Such a simple question: "Can you help me?" Most of us mean we would appreciate some assistance at gathering information or collaborating performance. A single parent may need a favor in transporting a child to practice or a birthday party. Sometimes, a person means he or she would like financial assistance. A few dollars or coins can make a huge difference to an unemployed, homeless person working the streets for a meal. None of these scenarios bother me. But, there is a scenario that tests my patience: when a woman takes advantage of a decent, hardworking young man who lends her money to pay the rent for herself and her children. That woman makes no effort to pay him back and later insists the loan was a gift. Her definition of "help" means "pay it all as a gift with no return." I call that interpretation of "help" as "using" a gullible man. (Yes, men can also use this or a similar tactic, yet it seems to be a rare occurence when this happens.) Regrettably, some women look to men to buy them out of financial woes. Those women will manipulate any willing man and the system to obtain benefits. Once these women have what they want, they walk away from their debts. What do the children learn from their observations: do not trust women, men are fools, the system provides free money and food? Beware of "help" and make sure you know how the person using it defines the word. Or, you may be used!

"I'll Support You"

Last Thursday, at a local Rotary meeting, my friend, Rich Delaney, presented a brief program with his coauthor, Christine Becicka. I had emailed him previously to let him know I would "be there to support" him. He told me that no man has ever told him that. Only his female friends mention supporting him in his professional endeavors. Upon greeting him that morning, I assured him he had my emotional commitment, not a financial investment. He was disappointed I did not bring a check made out to him for one thousand dollars! He was sure his male friends would have expected such from a "supporter." Rich is a funny man! His topic that morning was gender differences in communication among CEOs. I bought a copy of their book, You Can't Kill All the Men: Recipes for Business Leaders , 2011.

Personal Connections

Recently, a business associate asked me what universals exist for leading diverse personalities. My colleague mentioned how so many professional training programs incorporate "personality profiles" into the mix for professional skills. We have also read in business literature for more than a decade now about talent retention and management, human capital, social networking, social intelligence, and emotional intelligence. These terms refer to making and maintaining personal connections to ensure the health of our leaders, employees, and organizations.
Psychologists define "personality traits" as those preferred or typical behavior and thinking patterns an individual is most likely to demonstrate. Options for profiles include Myers-Briggs, DiSC, Interact, Strengthfinder, Gregorc's Type Delineator, SELF--among others. Without referring to a profile, however, can we identify some safe, simple, and effective guidelines for interacting with the diversity of people in the workplace?
In answer to this question, consider four competencies integral to creating personal connections: communication, negotiation, management, and teamwork. Leaders and coworkers can increase their human awareness, regardless of specific personality traits and profiles. But, beware: connecting with one another means risking vulerability, so only the courageous need continue reading.
Let's briefly consider communication first. Our communication skills and strategies are foundational to our success. We all want others to talk with us, to be direct with us, and to value our input. Three behaviors we appreciate from our leaders and coworkers are (1) listening without interrupting, (2) asking permission regarding our time and space, and (3) expressing empathy for our emotional and physical well-being.
Second, negotiation skills create a respectful work atmosphere. These skills are extensions of basic communication skills. We all appreciate it when leaders and coworkers are committed to finding commonalities and similarities, honoring fairness through consistent and dignified treatment, and giving forgiveness in the face of unintentional frailty (weakness), flaw (deficiency), or fault (error).
Third, management skills provide a necessary framework in which leaders and coworkers can offer encouragement, accept responsibility, and nurture accountability. When leaders and coworkers are convinced of one another's competence, even when our personal confidence waivers, we can rise to the task at hand. Performance and productivity improve when we have the support and resources from others around us.
Finally, teamwork evolves through sharing credit, showing recognition, and developing trust. Team leaders and team members bond over time and through stressful conditions by carrying the load, jumping the hurdles, and earning the trophies together. If not with all, then always for all of the team!
We hunger for personal connection within the automated and technical workplace. Being treated as a valued and valuable person within the organization, or doing business with the organization, encourages each of us to be a loyal employee, customer, or partner. Begin today to connect with the people around you where you work. It is worth the time and effort!

Choose Words Strategically

In How to Say It at Work (pages 16-17), Jack Griffin says to avoid these 53 words:
I, me, you, yours, afraid, bad luck, blame, cannot, cheated, circumstances, cornered, crisis, delay, delinquent, demand, disaster, excuse, experiment, fail, fault, fear, final, forgot, frustrating, guess, hopeless, impossible, impractical, inadequate, insist, loser, loss, lost, make do, must, nervous, no, non-negotiable, one-time offer, overlooked, panic, relax, slipped, sorry, stupid, tired, unaware, unfair, unreasonable, wasted.
The author calls this “vocabulary of limitation,” and I believe he’s on to something. Researchers in psycholinguistics would agree. Note that “avoid” from the opening sentence is not the same as eliminate. We should become aware of where, when, and how we express any of those words in Griffin's list because the word content (meaning)and context can override our intent. Words have a huge impact on behavior and outcome. Good leaders recognize this impact.
Vince Lombardi, the great football coach, was asked in an interview once about how he talked to his team to motivate them. His answer centered on pronouns: I, you, and we. His advice follows. Use "I" to limit bad news: "Our loss today means I failed to coach the team well this week." Use "you" to deliver good news: "You won!" Use "we" to frame neutral, legal, company, or collaborative news: "We have a moral and ethical obligation to our fans to do our best"; "We can do this together if we each commit to do what it takes to achieve our part."
To influence others' behavior and outcomes, be careful of language that limits and use pronouns strategically.

Giving Feedback

Five simple questions can help you decide what to say and how to phrase your message, comment, or feedback:
1. Is it timely?
Determine if now is the appropriate time and place. Praise can be public, yet criticism should be private. If you say a negative and follow it minutes later with a positive, it stands to reason the receiver will probably be confused and distrustful because of the mixed message. Therefore, your transitions and explanations of the shift in focus become essential. Example: “Your behavior is unacceptable. I cannot allow it to continue….. You are a highly skilled technician whose work we value.” Turn this around: “You are a highly skilled technician whose work we value. So, let’s talk about what just happened. Tell me what caused that behavior.”
2. Is it truthful?
Use gentle honesty rather than cruel honesty. Use questions to get at painful reality. Example: “How might that behavior affect the team’s morale?” rather than “You have a negative impact on the team’s morale.” We all tend to believe what we say, so asking a question to encourage someone to say the truth is more effective than telling that person what you perceive the truth to be. Besides, you will also get information regarding that person’s interpretation of reality by listening to the answer.
3. Is it wanted?
Remember to get permission before delivering feedback or instruction. Example: “Would you like to know an easier or faster way of doing that task?” This gets buy-in that can lead to a committed change in behavior or perspective.
4. Is it helpful?
Some people flourish on negative attention, so they may want what is not helpful. Strange but true! Determine if someone can grow or be productive as a result of this message. Complaining and criticizing is not helpful without coaching. Telling someone what not to do is a waste of time if you cannot share with them what to do.
5. Is it respectful?
Check the wording and tone of the message to save face and protect dignity. Avoid limiting language, inflammatory wording, and biased perspectives.
When you have five affirmative answers to those questions, you have a successful communication. If any one of those answers is no, you will want to think about your message; content, context, and intent some more.