An Attitude or a Language Adjustment?

Professionals in Human Resource circles have known for a long time that we cannot dictate attitude in the workplace. We can influence it, but not force it. Too often I hear, "So-and-so needs an attitude adjustment!" If the attitude is manifesting inappropriate behavior and/or language in the workplace, then a change is advised--but not in attitude! The individual is entitled to his/her own attitudes according to the American way of life and our diversity guidelines in business. It is the observable behavior, including language use and non-verbal actions, that must be monitored. Clear expectations of acceptable behavior and language must be modeled and enforced to maintain morale and order in the workplace. Yet, we must also remember the two irrefutable areas of individual processing are experiences and feelings. So, discounting either will create a wall of attitude in the other person. Frequently, our experiences and feelings intertwine with our behavorial and linguistic choices. Consequently, helping an individual maintain his/her integrity and dignity through the "adjustment intervention" demonstrates clear expectations to the entire workforce: You have a right to your attitude, your experiences, and your emotions; you do not have a right to behave, speak, or write in a way that abuses anyone else's rights.

Patronizing Attitudes

As she looked into the refrigerator, her husband said, "There are some great blueberries in there you are welcome to." Subtle but definite: A "Mad Men" moment, a flashback from the 1960s. A "permission granted by the generous patriarch of the house" attitude permeated those spoken words. Sometimes in an effort to be what the husband believes is polite, he sounds less than what a woman might believe is erudite. The couple both lived through the Mad Men decades, yet only the woman experienced the sexist inequities in family, education, and career. The husband has been an unaware observer. I recall a vivid scene in Children of a Lesser God in which Marlee Matlin's character confronts William Hurt's character who stops listening to his beloved music because she cannot enjoy it, hear it, with him. Then in Pretty Woman, Julia Roberts' character comments to Richard Gere's character, "You just did [treat me like a prostitute]." The kitchen scene and the movie scenes perpetuate the sexism and discrimination from an assumed power role, that of the man. Embedded attitudes die slowly.

Chosen Words

The American English language continues to evolve to keep pace with our society's needs and technologies. We all use words as tools for connecting with other individuals and groups. As a young mom I asked my son to sweep the sidewalk. He was confused, so I suggested he take the broom and "broom" the sidewalk--which he did. Over the years, that expression remained part of the family lexicon. "Broom" joined waugan (water), ped-e-stare-i-an (pedestrian), pen-in-the-as (pain in the a--), and chevby (heavy). Afterall, many groups of people working under the same roof or in the same industry have a special language that they all understand and use: jargon. When my son was in high school, he and several friends entered the kitchen. "Mom, tell them that you can broom a sidewalk. They say 'broom' is not the correct word." My reply was "Oh, Honey, I am so sorry!" His friends laughed. Years later, my son became a superb concrete finisher and stone mason. Quite a craftsman. He can polish-finish an industrial concrete floor in a multilevel building structure, and he can broom a driveway or sidewalk or patio. You see, one kind of finish is a broom finish that is created with a broad-head broom. By the way, "concrete" (not "cement")is the product resulting from mixing cement (a bonding agent), sand, aggregate, and water. Another clarification: construction workers "pour" concrete while engineers and architects "place" concrete. The selected words demonstrate the preferred perspective: "pour" denotes more water in the mixture which makes it easier to move into place and "place" denotes less water to make the mixture strong and durable. Also, attorneys who advise those construction and engineering professionals warn them against using "expertise," preferring "experience." Apparently, in litigation, "expertise" can cost them a higher settlement with a dissatisfied client. The nuances of language serve specific and peculiar purposes. Choose your words carefully!