Social Media in Business Communication

Post on social media only after you have learned how to remove or edit a posting! Common sense often kicks in hours after your finger pushed "send." These days, business, government, and military recruiters are searching social media for evidence not to hire someone and for reasons to fire others. Be careful of what you post--think of it from outside your own head and shoes. Consider your reputation and that of others you want to be in connection. Although critical thinking is a skill and a value, it may not be the best criterion for deciding what to post. Common sense and common courtesy are better foundations. Last night I tried an experiment and posted an uncomplimentary comment and by 9:00 this morning, I had negative, critical feedback addressing the post. Bad news travels fast--but do you want to be known for being its pall bearer?

Blaming Behavior

"You made me do it." This is a cute statement if you are singing lyrics about falling in love. But, if you are abusing someone, it is nothing short of a false, irresponsible statement. An irrational argument might result: "It's not my fault. If you were not so sensitive and selfish, I would not have pushed you out the back door and down the stairs." "Look what you made me do!" is a more youthful, immature version of that original statement. When children use this latter version, they miss any underlying circumstances that may cause an unfortunate behavior. Take this scenario: a child is painting a still life as the dog scurries past the child's sibling who is knocked off balance and into the child's chair results in the paintbrush smudging the artwork. "Look what you made me do!" cries the child to the sibling. Now envision your organization's lounge or lunchroom with adults moving around quickly with mustard on sandwiches, hot coffee, and handheld electronic devices.... Use your imagination. In the workplace, if you hear either of these messages coming from your supervisors or managers, be ready to consult your Human Resources department and your leadership coach, pull your resume and references together, and network for another position at another location. The lack of self-responsibility, and therefore, accountability strongly suggests a weak and negative working environment. Get out while you can! If you hear yourself say either of these statements, seek therapy immediately. If your subordinates state these messages, give them immediate feedback and, perhaps, help them find work elsewhere. People who have grown up blaming others for their misfortune or mistakes will find it difficult to change their mindset and behavior. The act of blaming others undermines teamwork and productivity. It is toxic behavior that disintegrates morale. Eliminate blaming from your organization to ensure healthy working relationships and attitudes.

Giving Feedback

Five simple questions can help you decide what to say and how to phrase your message, comment, or feedback:
1. Is it timely?
Determine if now is the appropriate time and place. Praise can be public, yet criticism should be private. If you say a negative and follow it minutes later with a positive, it stands to reason the receiver will probably be confused and distrustful because of the mixed message. Therefore, your transitions and explanations of the shift in focus become essential. Example: “Your behavior is unacceptable. I cannot allow it to continue….. You are a highly skilled technician whose work we value.” Turn this around: “You are a highly skilled technician whose work we value. So, let’s talk about what just happened. Tell me what caused that behavior.”
2. Is it truthful?
Use gentle honesty rather than cruel honesty. Use questions to get at painful reality. Example: “How might that behavior affect the team’s morale?” rather than “You have a negative impact on the team’s morale.” We all tend to believe what we say, so asking a question to encourage someone to say the truth is more effective than telling that person what you perceive the truth to be. Besides, you will also get information regarding that person’s interpretation of reality by listening to the answer.
3. Is it wanted?
Remember to get permission before delivering feedback or instruction. Example: “Would you like to know an easier or faster way of doing that task?” This gets buy-in that can lead to a committed change in behavior or perspective.
4. Is it helpful?
Some people flourish on negative attention, so they may want what is not helpful. Strange but true! Determine if someone can grow or be productive as a result of this message. Complaining and criticizing is not helpful without coaching. Telling someone what not to do is a waste of time if you cannot share with them what to do.
5. Is it respectful?
Check the wording and tone of the message to save face and protect dignity. Avoid limiting language, inflammatory wording, and biased perspectives.
When you have five affirmative answers to those questions, you have a successful communication. If any one of those answers is no, you will want to think about your message; content, context, and intent some more.