In How to Say It at Work (pages 16-17), Jack Griffin says to avoid these 53 words:
I, me, you, yours, afraid, bad luck, blame, cannot, cheated, circumstances, cornered, crisis, delay, delinquent, demand, disaster, excuse, experiment, fail, fault, fear, final, forgot, frustrating, guess, hopeless, impossible, impractical, inadequate, insist, loser, loss, lost, make do, must, nervous, no, non-negotiable, one-time offer, overlooked, panic, relax, slipped, sorry, stupid, tired, unaware, unfair, unreasonable, wasted.
The author calls this “vocabulary of limitation,” and I believe he’s on to something. Researchers in psycholinguistics would agree. Note that “avoid” from the opening sentence is not the same as eliminate. We should become aware of where, when, and how we express any of those words in Griffin's list because the word content (meaning)and context can override our intent. Words have a huge impact on behavior and outcome. Good leaders recognize this impact.
Vince Lombardi, the great football coach, was asked in an interview once about how he talked to his team to motivate them. His answer centered on pronouns: I, you, and we. His advice follows. Use "I" to limit bad news: "Our loss today means I failed to coach the team well this week." Use "you" to deliver good news: "You won!" Use "we" to frame neutral, legal, company, or collaborative news: "We have a moral and ethical obligation to our fans to do our best"; "We can do this together if we each commit to do what it takes to achieve our part."
To influence others' behavior and outcomes, be careful of language that limits and use pronouns strategically.
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