Patronizing Attitudes

As she looked into the refrigerator, her husband said, "There are some great blueberries in there you are welcome to." Subtle but definite: A "Mad Men" moment, a flashback from the 1960s. A "permission granted by the generous patriarch of the house" attitude permeated those spoken words. Sometimes in an effort to be what the husband believes is polite, he sounds less than what a woman might believe is erudite. The couple both lived through the Mad Men decades, yet only the woman experienced the sexist inequities in family, education, and career. The husband has been an unaware observer. I recall a vivid scene in Children of a Lesser God in which Marlee Matlin's character confronts William Hurt's character who stops listening to his beloved music because she cannot enjoy it, hear it, with him. Then in Pretty Woman, Julia Roberts' character comments to Richard Gere's character, "You just did [treat me like a prostitute]." The kitchen scene and the movie scenes perpetuate the sexism and discrimination from an assumed power role, that of the man. Embedded attitudes die slowly.