Blaming Behavior

"You made me do it." This is a cute statement if you are singing lyrics about falling in love. But, if you are abusing someone, it is nothing short of a false, irresponsible statement. An irrational argument might result: "It's not my fault. If you were not so sensitive and selfish, I would not have pushed you out the back door and down the stairs." "Look what you made me do!" is a more youthful, immature version of that original statement. When children use this latter version, they miss any underlying circumstances that may cause an unfortunate behavior. Take this scenario: a child is painting a still life as the dog scurries past the child's sibling who is knocked off balance and into the child's chair results in the paintbrush smudging the artwork. "Look what you made me do!" cries the child to the sibling. Now envision your organization's lounge or lunchroom with adults moving around quickly with mustard on sandwiches, hot coffee, and handheld electronic devices.... Use your imagination. In the workplace, if you hear either of these messages coming from your supervisors or managers, be ready to consult your Human Resources department and your leadership coach, pull your resume and references together, and network for another position at another location. The lack of self-responsibility, and therefore, accountability strongly suggests a weak and negative working environment. Get out while you can! If you hear yourself say either of these statements, seek therapy immediately. If your subordinates state these messages, give them immediate feedback and, perhaps, help them find work elsewhere. People who have grown up blaming others for their misfortune or mistakes will find it difficult to change their mindset and behavior. The act of blaming others undermines teamwork and productivity. It is toxic behavior that disintegrates morale. Eliminate blaming from your organization to ensure healthy working relationships and attitudes.