A Rare Sight

This week I am watching my college business communications class prepare for the semester final. The final exam is customized, individualized, and personalized, so there is no way to cheat. The test defies proving what each student does not know, as most tests are designed to do. Instead, each student records learnings that are applicable to one's own career choices from the array of concepts covered in 16 chapters and 8 weeks of discussions and activities. I am observing the epitome of teamwork: each individual feels supported by the team and contributes to the team's (the class's) success. The commitment to work together to ensure that everyone passes with a C or better is demonstrating peer teaching, taking inititive, asking for and receiving help and clarification, accepting and rejecting information accumulated, making affirmations, and showing empathy under the stress. Their continuing homework after the course ends is to influence all work groups in their futures to achieve this willing and trusting collaboration and cross-training in the name of excellence!

Let the Subject Line Work for You

Do you get tired of people ignoring your emails? Did you know that your subject line may be why? People are more likely to open emails that have effective and specific subject lines than those with a boring or confusing line. Essential components of your subject line include an action verb, an adjective and noun with a prepositional phrase (a qualifier or condition). Optional components include a code and multiple prepositional phrases. An example of a common subject line follows: "Budget Mtg." A revised line reads: "CPA: Attend 3rd Qtr Budget Mtg on 3/4 at 2:15 p.m. in rm 12 #." All CPAs are to attend the meeting at the date, time, and location given to discuss the third-quarter budget items and balances. If the full message is in the subject line, add "#" to indicate end of message. The quality of your subject lines can determine the quality and quantity of the reader responses you get.

Miscommunication by Omission

Recently, a young man I know was given aprescription for pain after injuring his knee. Being wary of medications, he minimized the dosage. The bottle label said "take for pain." Later, his sister, a registered nurse told him his prescfription was for pain as well as infamation. By reducing the dosage and enduring the pain, he prolonged his discomfort because the inflammation remained. It would certainly have been helpful to him if the doctor or the pharmacist had informed him of the anti-inflammatory propereties of the drug. That reminds me of a time when a friend was to undergo surgery. He had been told to avoid food for 12 hours before the surgery. He did so. He arrived for pre-surgery prepping and was scolded. The nurse saw him chewing gum, which stimulates the juices in the stomach and that can cause vomiting while under anestesia. A surprise to realize that gum is considered a food! When we know and assume so much more than we are telling, no wonder our receivers are clueless and feel betrayed by the information omissions. Errors of omission cause miscommunication--and mistrust.

Immigrant: Gift and Loss

The word immigrant plays a significant role in today's politics. I am grateful for the immigrants I have had the pleasure to meet in my college classes. A partial list includes a Russian medical doctor, a South Vietnamese general, two Muslim sisters, an Iraqi soldier, a Monrovian soldier, an Indian business manager, a Chinese dissident and entrepreneur, three Columbian cousins, a Congolese spiritual leader, an Ethiopian lottery winner, an Iranian wife and mother, an Afghani cab driver, a Mongolian exchange student, several Korean pastors, and a Ukrainian husband and wife. Granted, each of these students were self-motivated to learn the spoken and written language of a new homeland--whether for permanent or temporary residence. I recognize these people as well-educated, potential citizens of the United States. They are not looking for handouts, and they are playing by the immigration rules. Only one would distress me if they were to become neighbors--the Iraqi soldier had a serious and scary demeanor. It took me all semseter to get him to laugh! The Monrovian soldier fell in love with an Albanian woman one summer. How wonderful two people from warring countries could meet in the US and fall in love. Yet, he explained to me, he could not ever take her home to his family in Eastern Europe without one of them or both being killed. The cab driver honored me with an Afghani dinner--home made by him! The general, who had been tortured as a POW by the Viet Cong, led his entire class to sign a card for me at the end of the semester. The two sisters prayed for my father and family when he was dying; my mother had thought all Muslims were terrorists. The man from the Congo has been a great friend of mine for many years; One day I would like to travel to Africa with him. Each of theses people were national gifts. Yet, not all immigrants are well educated and legally living in the US. Ricardo, Chole, their three children and Rey, the brother, were not either. I am equally as honored to have been in their presence one summer in New Mexico. Chole could not speak English; I could not speak Spanish. Nonetheless, we discussed husbands, children, birth control, recipes, and cleaning tips! I discovered nonverbal communication between two dedicated friends crosses language barriers. I cried when her family left to look for work and a school for the children. I wished we could have found a way those 30 years ago to invite them into citizenship--their work ethic and honorable character would have given us several generations of productive, contributing citizens. That family was our national loss. I hope our immigration reform will include maximum gifts and minimal losses for us as a nation. I have learned much from these friends, and they have much dignity and diversity to share with all Americans.

Patronizing Attitudes

As she looked into the refrigerator, her husband said, "There are some great blueberries in there you are welcome to." Subtle but definite: A "Mad Men" moment, a flashback from the 1960s. A "permission granted by the generous patriarch of the house" attitude permeated those spoken words. Sometimes in an effort to be what the husband believes is polite, he sounds less than what a woman might believe is erudite. The couple both lived through the Mad Men decades, yet only the woman experienced the sexist inequities in family, education, and career. The husband has been an unaware observer. I recall a vivid scene in Children of a Lesser God in which Marlee Matlin's character confronts William Hurt's character who stops listening to his beloved music because she cannot enjoy it, hear it, with him. Then in Pretty Woman, Julia Roberts' character comments to Richard Gere's character, "You just did [treat me like a prostitute]." The kitchen scene and the movie scenes perpetuate the sexism and discrimination from an assumed power role, that of the man. Embedded attitudes die slowly.

Thank you, Actors

Movie and TV viewers owe a huge debt to courageous actors. Julie Andrews, Halle Berry, Demi Moore, Wesley Snipes, Morgan Freeman, Glenn Close, Hilary Swank, Robin Williams, Nathan Lane, and Tom Hanks are among those who selected roles that stretch the viewer's comfort zones and imaginations. They increase our awareness of possibilities for gender identification, sexual orientation, gender-inclusive leaders and military personnel, and romantic matches. We had the chance to test out an ethnic president before we elected one in "24." We got to laugh at the relationship between the two husbands in "The Birdcage." We cried during the life review of a lawyer who dies from AIDS in "Philadelphia." We root for the action hero whose love interest is a different race, ethnic background, or national origin than the hero. We cheer for the female Navy Seal and the female Vice President. Possibilities that having been imagined and seen,can be made reality.

Watch Your Language

Attorneys warn managers in engineering/architectual firms to watch the language their employees use in conversations and emails. Specifically, words such as "ensure," "guarantee," and "expertise" can become problematic during a lawsuit. "Experts" have "experience" and never "guarantee" or "ensure" anything! Judges apparently equate "expertise" as prefect knowledge and performance. Anything short of perfection can cause a firm thousands or millions of dollars. Where is the responsibility of the buyer in realizing the possibility of materiel defects, weather delays, and computer glitches? Sure, we should all be accountable for our language and our behavior. Yet, it seems extreme to hold any uncontrollable lapse, gap, or condition against a person with "expertise" or "ensurance." When I hear "expert," I think of a reputable person who knows more in a field than most others--I do not think the person knows everything or that the person is perfect in all applicatble skills. I have watched enough television court cases over the years to know an expert witness for the prosecution is often countered by another expert witness for the defense! Language is not an exact science, any more than engineering or architecture are. Nonetheless, a good idea in any contract work is to define your terms.