Love and Honor

June 8, an anniversary to commemorate. I refused to say "Love, Honor, and Obey" in my vows and said "Love and Honor" instead. My parents dropped "Till Death Do Us Part" from their vows. I have continued to send Momma an anniversary card every September 26 since Daddy's passing, as she still feels married to him. Words can be worth living and dying for: "Of the People, For the People and By the People." When I was growing up, I heard my mom say, "A promise is a dead-on pay." She was angry any time she said those words, so I never asked her what she meant. Usually, one of my siblings had informed her of an injustice in which one of us had not kept a promise. I figured I had to die keeping any promise I made. During an early marriage, I did face the choice of inevitably dying at the hands of a man who said he loved me and who acted as if he hated me. After we parted ways, I read a Shakespearian quote: "A promise is a debt unpaid." I called my mom who swore she had said that all along. Whether it had been a matter of her enunciation or my auditory discrimination remains unresolved. Nonetheless, I stayed in an unhealthy marriage too long because of a faulty belief that I must die keeping my vow. Later, a friend pointed out my June 8 husband had broken his vow to "Love and Honor" me before I finally realized I would have to break mine to stay alive. Be careful with words. Choose the ones you will live by with care. Your children are watching.