In a recent presentation of "Productive Conflict: Conversation to Collaboration," participants listed the positive outcomes of conflict. Among them were clarification of misunderstandings, innovation in seeking solutions, and trust in working relationships that could withstand disagreement.
By definition, conflict means a dispute or a disagreement, and by experience it means an opportunity has presented itself. Conflict is neither good nor bad, it simply is inevitable. This realization suggests each of us must be accountable to ensure that conflict becomes productive. We must stay in conversation to find our way out of the tangle of disputes arising from shared resources and goals, limited time and money, differing values and priorities, and changing skill sets and technology. Recently, several small groups struggled with some of the sources of conflict in a puzzle game designed to simulate real expectations and dilemmas. Each table team was given a packet of pieces of playing cards and the following instruction from the facilitator, "Put as many whole cards together as you can. I'll check in with you in 15 minutes."
Assumptions circulated: (1)we must put our cards together and get as many as possible to beat the other teams; (2) we have a deadine; (3) we have all the pieces we need to make whole cards; (4) each team must work independently from the others; and (5) whole cards are accomplished when the faces of the cards are complete as the original cards looked in the new deck.
As teams worked, tension and frustration crept into the interaction. A scarcity of resources eventually led someone to ask the facilitator, "Can we talk with other groups?" Then teams began sending runners out to find the pieces they needed for their dismembered cards: "Do you guys have Diamonds?" and "That group has the other half of the King of Spades!" Then a woman exclaimed, "Someone has pieces in their pocket--I'm convinced of it!"
Teams had different strategies to accomplish the goal. One team abandoned its table with their pieces displayed for others to take. Another team stayed in place around their pieces and observed as others traded pieces, ultimately assembling the observing team's cards through no effort of their own! One individual explained her behavior and ulterior motive, "I've been giving pieces away so we'll get out of here sooner." Still another team accomplished its understanding of the goal by arranging their cards into wholes by working the back of the cards into a congruent design. That really distressed some individuals who could not see the face side of the cards to see if the pieces they neeed were literally face down. One woman suggested, "Let's put all the pieces on one table," but no one moved to do that: later the teams agreed that it was too much trouble to do it.
When conflict arises, ask questions and listen to perspectives. Do you all understand the goal and how to accomplish it in the same way? What assumptions are apparent as the conversation uncovers misunderstandings, misconceptions, and misinformation? When instuctions or goals are vague or confusing, how do you find your way? Does your team work as independent individuals or as a unified front? Does our team process conflict to determine how to ensure performance and productivity?
After lots of laughs and negotiations, the five teams successfully assembled a deck of cards from 200 pieces in approximately 20 minutes. The surprise: push through the conflicts to identify the opportunities presented and to create the successful results worthy of the participants!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Personal Connections
Recently, a business associate asked me what universals exist for leading diverse personalities. My colleague mentioned how so many professional training programs incorporate "personality profiles" into the mix for professional skills. We have also read in business literature for more than a decade now about talent retention and management, human capital, social networking, social intelligence, and emotional intelligence. These terms refer to making and maintaining personal connections to ensure the health of our leaders, employees, and organizations.
Psychologists define "personality traits" as those preferred or typical behavior and thinking patterns an individual is most likely to demonstrate. Options for profiles include Myers-Briggs, DiSC, Interact, Strengthfinder, Gregorc's Type Delineator, SELF--among others. Without referring to a profile, however, can we identify some safe, simple, and effective guidelines for interacting with the diversity of people in the workplace?
In answer to this question, consider four competencies integral to creating personal connections: communication, negotiation, management, and teamwork. Leaders and coworkers can increase their human awareness, regardless of specific personality traits and profiles. But, beware: connecting with one another means risking vulerability, so only the courageous need continue reading.
Let's briefly consider communication first. Our communication skills and strategies are foundational to our success. We all want others to talk with us, to be direct with us, and to value our input. Three behaviors we appreciate from our leaders and coworkers are (1) listening without interrupting, (2) asking permission regarding our time and space, and (3) expressing empathy for our emotional and physical well-being.
Second, negotiation skills create a respectful work atmosphere. These skills are extensions of basic communication skills. We all appreciate it when leaders and coworkers are committed to finding commonalities and similarities, honoring fairness through consistent and dignified treatment, and giving forgiveness in the face of unintentional frailty (weakness), flaw (deficiency), or fault (error).
Third, management skills provide a necessary framework in which leaders and coworkers can offer encouragement, accept responsibility, and nurture accountability. When leaders and coworkers are convinced of one another's competence, even when our personal confidence waivers, we can rise to the task at hand. Performance and productivity improve when we have the support and resources from others around us.
Finally, teamwork evolves through sharing credit, showing recognition, and developing trust. Team leaders and team members bond over time and through stressful conditions by carrying the load, jumping the hurdles, and earning the trophies together. If not with all, then always for all of the team!
We hunger for personal connection within the automated and technical workplace. Being treated as a valued and valuable person within the organization, or doing business with the organization, encourages each of us to be a loyal employee, customer, or partner. Begin today to connect with the people around you where you work. It is worth the time and effort!
Psychologists define "personality traits" as those preferred or typical behavior and thinking patterns an individual is most likely to demonstrate. Options for profiles include Myers-Briggs, DiSC, Interact, Strengthfinder, Gregorc's Type Delineator, SELF--among others. Without referring to a profile, however, can we identify some safe, simple, and effective guidelines for interacting with the diversity of people in the workplace?
In answer to this question, consider four competencies integral to creating personal connections: communication, negotiation, management, and teamwork. Leaders and coworkers can increase their human awareness, regardless of specific personality traits and profiles. But, beware: connecting with one another means risking vulerability, so only the courageous need continue reading.
Let's briefly consider communication first. Our communication skills and strategies are foundational to our success. We all want others to talk with us, to be direct with us, and to value our input. Three behaviors we appreciate from our leaders and coworkers are (1) listening without interrupting, (2) asking permission regarding our time and space, and (3) expressing empathy for our emotional and physical well-being.
Second, negotiation skills create a respectful work atmosphere. These skills are extensions of basic communication skills. We all appreciate it when leaders and coworkers are committed to finding commonalities and similarities, honoring fairness through consistent and dignified treatment, and giving forgiveness in the face of unintentional frailty (weakness), flaw (deficiency), or fault (error).
Third, management skills provide a necessary framework in which leaders and coworkers can offer encouragement, accept responsibility, and nurture accountability. When leaders and coworkers are convinced of one another's competence, even when our personal confidence waivers, we can rise to the task at hand. Performance and productivity improve when we have the support and resources from others around us.
Finally, teamwork evolves through sharing credit, showing recognition, and developing trust. Team leaders and team members bond over time and through stressful conditions by carrying the load, jumping the hurdles, and earning the trophies together. If not with all, then always for all of the team!
We hunger for personal connection within the automated and technical workplace. Being treated as a valued and valuable person within the organization, or doing business with the organization, encourages each of us to be a loyal employee, customer, or partner. Begin today to connect with the people around you where you work. It is worth the time and effort!
Monday, May 25, 2009
Stories: More than Words
Somewhere in the Pacific Ocean outside the Asian shores, two US Navy pilots flew a mission. These pilots were perfecting low-flying techniques to avoid radar detection during World War II. Not having found their intended target, however, they could not return to their carrier with the ordinance aboard the planes. The pilots spoke through their radios and agreed to look for any likely target on a close enemy island. Within minutes they discovered a group of buildings and the first pilot flew low with the second plane close behind. The first bomb hit and erupted a thunder of explosions. Shrapnel sprayed and spiraled into the path of the second plane that could not escape the barrage of projectiles. The pilot held his breath and planted his hands firmly on the control. Within seconds, the instruments disengaged as the damage to the plane became ever more clearly evident. The pilot detached the bombs and flew upward as fast and as high as he could go. More shrapnel engulfed the plane. The first pilot was horrified at seeing the encounter his friend faced.
"Andy, Andy! Are you all right?" yelled the first pilot.
The second pilot replied, "I'm still with you! We must have hit an ammunition dump. What fireworks!"
Both planes headed toward the carrier. The first plane would have to land before the limping plane could make an attempt and the likelihood of a crash landing was too good for their liking. Both pilots knew a crash could prevent a safe landing for any plane that immediately followed.
The pilot in the second plane fought for control of his flying machine. It did not want to cooperate. The wings dove and rose in convulsive disagreement. The plane moaned, shrieked, and rattled as Andy intuitively did what he could to comfort and ease it into a steady decline. A hot rush swept through him. Andy knew he had one chance to get the plane down on the runway. He feared the plane would break up if he had to circle and make another pass, and ditching in the sea was an exhausting and expensive alternative that Andy did not want on his record--if he survived the dunk. He had to land on deck. He felt a determination he had not remembered since he was 13 when he jumped out of the third-floor window to prove to those 10 other Boy Scouts they could save themselves from the fire by jumping after him--but that was another story, captured in a newpaper article his mom saved and that his youngest daughter would find fifty-some years later. It was as if he willed the plane to gain stability. The nose tipped downward. He muscled the control and glided to a bumpy stop atop ship. The firefighters rushed over to assist. He unbuckled, unstrapped, and climbed out to a roar of applause. "Lousy approach--helluva landing!" The chant and caption became a lifelong motto: "Turn lousy approaches into magnificent landings." Much later, as Andy related the story to his grandchildren, they heard Andy's finish: "I noticed blood splattered on my flight suit, so I went below deck to get presentable. I washed the blood from my face and arms, and in doing so, I watched my Purple Heart go down the drain!" He chuckled and his grandchildren laughed at his story.
The power of stories can help children and grandchildren know they belong in a family of courage and self-reliance and determination. This can be true of organizations and their employees as well. Think about the stories that inspire you to do your best. Share them--they're more than words! On this Memorial Day 2009, I honor my father, Cdr. Charles Robert Anderson, USN (b. October 20, 1918, d. December 25, 2007), known as Andy to many of his Navy friends.
"Andy, Andy! Are you all right?" yelled the first pilot.
The second pilot replied, "I'm still with you! We must have hit an ammunition dump. What fireworks!"
Both planes headed toward the carrier. The first plane would have to land before the limping plane could make an attempt and the likelihood of a crash landing was too good for their liking. Both pilots knew a crash could prevent a safe landing for any plane that immediately followed.
The pilot in the second plane fought for control of his flying machine. It did not want to cooperate. The wings dove and rose in convulsive disagreement. The plane moaned, shrieked, and rattled as Andy intuitively did what he could to comfort and ease it into a steady decline. A hot rush swept through him. Andy knew he had one chance to get the plane down on the runway. He feared the plane would break up if he had to circle and make another pass, and ditching in the sea was an exhausting and expensive alternative that Andy did not want on his record--if he survived the dunk. He had to land on deck. He felt a determination he had not remembered since he was 13 when he jumped out of the third-floor window to prove to those 10 other Boy Scouts they could save themselves from the fire by jumping after him--but that was another story, captured in a newpaper article his mom saved and that his youngest daughter would find fifty-some years later. It was as if he willed the plane to gain stability. The nose tipped downward. He muscled the control and glided to a bumpy stop atop ship. The firefighters rushed over to assist. He unbuckled, unstrapped, and climbed out to a roar of applause. "Lousy approach--helluva landing!" The chant and caption became a lifelong motto: "Turn lousy approaches into magnificent landings." Much later, as Andy related the story to his grandchildren, they heard Andy's finish: "I noticed blood splattered on my flight suit, so I went below deck to get presentable. I washed the blood from my face and arms, and in doing so, I watched my Purple Heart go down the drain!" He chuckled and his grandchildren laughed at his story.
The power of stories can help children and grandchildren know they belong in a family of courage and self-reliance and determination. This can be true of organizations and their employees as well. Think about the stories that inspire you to do your best. Share them--they're more than words! On this Memorial Day 2009, I honor my father, Cdr. Charles Robert Anderson, USN (b. October 20, 1918, d. December 25, 2007), known as Andy to many of his Navy friends.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
NOMAD Leadership
Nomads wander with no permanent residence other than the portable home they pack. Typically, they light wherever the resources can be found. The lifestyle of the nomad lies in poetry and song. The nomad concept can reveal crucial leadership skills as well.
NOMAD: Narrator, Observer, Model, Ally, and Director
A leader narrates the story, the truth. A leader markets a purpose and demonstrates a mission.
A leader is an observer who readily takes, makes, and shares opportunities. A leader is an informed risk-taker who transitions from hindsight to foresight in a clear vision and direction.
A leader models core values, acts on principle, stands alone when necessary, and operates within an ethical code of conduct.
A leader creates alliances, serves followers, and connects through networking and collaborating.
A leader directs others and delegates tasks while developing key team members.
By telling the story, clarifying the vision, modeling the ethics, allying the team, and directing the efforts, the leader fashions results and benefits that propel a business or a family forward--ever forward.
NOMAD: Narrator, Observer, Model, Ally, and Director
A leader narrates the story, the truth. A leader markets a purpose and demonstrates a mission.
A leader is an observer who readily takes, makes, and shares opportunities. A leader is an informed risk-taker who transitions from hindsight to foresight in a clear vision and direction.
A leader models core values, acts on principle, stands alone when necessary, and operates within an ethical code of conduct.
A leader creates alliances, serves followers, and connects through networking and collaborating.
A leader directs others and delegates tasks while developing key team members.
By telling the story, clarifying the vision, modeling the ethics, allying the team, and directing the efforts, the leader fashions results and benefits that propel a business or a family forward--ever forward.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Avoid "You Need To"--Even if They Do Need To!
"You need to..." stirs the embers in me. I immediately want to yell, "No I do not need to...." I became aware of this expression years back when I was teaching parenting skills with a training group at the Women's Correctional Institute in Topeka, Kansas. The guards led with that expression when they spoke to many of the inmates. "You need to take responsibility. You need to be silent. You need to do what you are told. You need to calm down. You need to--." It seemed to be to be a power-tripping command statement which was condescending to the receiver. It burns me to hear it from anyone in the workplace. Later, I became aware of the expression while watching overwelmed and tired parents in grocery stores. "You need to stop hitting your brother. You need to listen to me. You need to leave that stuff alone. You need to quit running around. You need to--." It seemed to me that the expression was used out of a sense of powerlessness which was an abdication of parental effectiveness. It sparks an angry flame in me to hear a teacher say it to my children. Interesting paradox: a power-tripping command or words of powerlessness--neither description is complimentary or professional. Both scenarios demonstrate a misuse of authority inherent in the expression. My suggestion: avoid using that expression--unless, of course you want to offend or charbroil the receiver!
SMARTS-S Goals
The Art of Talking So People Will Listen, by Paul W. Swets, was the first place in print that I read about SMART goals. Now I hear about SMART goals in every organization I work. The S represents specific, the M is measureable, the A is either affirmative or agreed, the R stands for realistic, and the T means time-bound. Goals that are specific rather than general, measurable rather than abstract or vague, affirmative and agreed rather than negative and assigned, realistic rather than idealistic beyond actuality--are achieveable. Yet, we have been duped into thinking that's all there is to pursuing success.
With all due respect, I believe a crucial element has been omitted: the final S. SMART-S goals add a second S for supported. Most goals fail because they are not supported by the employee's peer group, supervisors, and families of origin and invitation. We do not achieve goals in a vacuum. A famous Harvard University study showed that writing out goals made them definite guideposts, and later dedicated signposts, in graduates' lives. I wonder how many of those successful graduates shared the written goals with their support systems. I bet many did! The social, political, financial, and familial contexts impact the success potential of our human efforts. Make sure you have a personal support system and a professional support group that create an encouraging and hope-filled environment in which you can receive nurture and reach success. Without that support, the odds are stacked in favor of frustration, failure, or forfeiture. Who are your supporters? Connect with them and ask them to share affirmations and resources with you.
With all due respect, I believe a crucial element has been omitted: the final S. SMART-S goals add a second S for supported. Most goals fail because they are not supported by the employee's peer group, supervisors, and families of origin and invitation. We do not achieve goals in a vacuum. A famous Harvard University study showed that writing out goals made them definite guideposts, and later dedicated signposts, in graduates' lives. I wonder how many of those successful graduates shared the written goals with their support systems. I bet many did! The social, political, financial, and familial contexts impact the success potential of our human efforts. Make sure you have a personal support system and a professional support group that create an encouraging and hope-filled environment in which you can receive nurture and reach success. Without that support, the odds are stacked in favor of frustration, failure, or forfeiture. Who are your supporters? Connect with them and ask them to share affirmations and resources with you.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Safety at Every Meeting
One of the best "best practices" I've ever witnessed was during Burlington Northern Santa Fe (BNSF) Railroad training. I was teaching train-the-trainer in Overland Park, KS. Each morning session began with a point person asking for five people who were willing and able to serve the group of participants. Each person would be accountable for one of the following:
1. To deliver CPR, if necessary.
2. To apply the defibrilator device, if necessary.
3. To give the headcount to first responders or rescuers, if necessary.
4. To assist any self-identified person(s) within the group during an emergency evacuation.
5. To call 9-1-1, if nercessary.
I invite you to propose a consistent and comprehensive system for basic safety and survival at all of your organization's meetings. Two minutes to assign volunteers brings life-saving skills and safety commitments to the forefront of all attendees' minds. As an outside consultant at BNSF, I felt reassured that a heart attack, a fire, or a terrorist would be foiled in any dastardly attempt to expire me.
Now get or renew your CPR certification!
1. To deliver CPR, if necessary.
2. To apply the defibrilator device, if necessary.
3. To give the headcount to first responders or rescuers, if necessary.
4. To assist any self-identified person(s) within the group during an emergency evacuation.
5. To call 9-1-1, if nercessary.
I invite you to propose a consistent and comprehensive system for basic safety and survival at all of your organization's meetings. Two minutes to assign volunteers brings life-saving skills and safety commitments to the forefront of all attendees' minds. As an outside consultant at BNSF, I felt reassured that a heart attack, a fire, or a terrorist would be foiled in any dastardly attempt to expire me.
Now get or renew your CPR certification!
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